by Scott Johnson
Welcome back to our new favorite series: Best Made Weddings. Sometimes you just do not have enough time in the day to sit down and listen to an hour of conversation between weddings professionals and industry members. It’s ok, we hardly have time to get through our backlogs of podcasts, either! So we are here to give you a rundown of our various talks with key members of the wedding industry.
We are back with part two today of our talk on Wedding Invitations, joined by Camille Robinson of Robinson Creative House, Holly Goodman of Sablewood Paper Co. and Stephanie Clarke of Chloe Clarke, The Art of Paper. In case you missed our first part that covered postponing, changing dates/themes, and dealing with the current pandemic, be sure to check it out here.
Pre-Wedding Festivities
If you knew anyone who got hitched within the last year, you will likely have joined in on some form of a Zoom Bridal Shower, Bachelorette/Bachelor Party. As the nation slowly but surely opens back up, you may be gearing up to invite your friends and family over for an actual in-person event. Based on where you live, that may not be a good idea (unless you are all vaccinated, of course) so how should this be handled while there is still so much up in the air?
Camille starts in with referencing the faux pax of having people at a bridal shower or stag/hen party who are not actually being invited to a wedding...alas in times like this, it “may have to be taken with a grain of salt,” but that many people still want to be any part of the big day. With a lot of uncertainty, you may just want to celebrate with as many people in as many ways as you can.
Holly plays devil’s advocate with saying if your original plan was to have a “small wedding anyway, don’t just invite people to your bridal shower just to have them there. That’s just wrong in a normal situation. You have to take other people’s feelings into consideration,” but you also cannot base your guest list on “uncertain factors.” Stephanie rounds it out with complete agreement, “as someone who was invited to a destination bachelorette party but not the wedding...well, you know. That bride didn’t know what she was doing!”
“Change the Dates”
So what exactly does go into a “Change the Date” notice? Well, like any invitation, it really is up to you. Whether it is short and sweet, or long and explanatory, it is tough knowing which balance to strike if you ultimately do decide to push back your wedding. Stephanie took the first response, explaining a lot of her clients wanted just quick email formats to get the word out. Some featured full reasoning for the postponement, others just assumed the people would understand why.
Holly, on the other hand, saw more of a trend as time went by through 2020. She explains that at a certain point, “I was sending super detailed announcements, I mean they were so long it’s like we get it at this point.” Other “un-invites” get riskier, in which people are actually being disincluded from the wedding for whatever reasons with it being capacity, health, or otherwise. Camille even shared an example of what one of her clients sent to their guests, “Due to the ongoing pandemic and uncertainty in our future, we have made the difficult decision to dramatically reduce the amount of guests at our wedding. We are so sorry to do this, but at this point in time we have to cancel the invitation to our wedding. We hope you understand this is a drastic measure that we never thought we would have to take.”
We know many of you out there are struggling to find the words, so we hope this helps!
Reception Only Invites
One of the biggest shifts that has happened over the last year is seemingly one of the most sensical for some. Rather than have everyone for the whole day, why not just get hitched in a small intimate manner, and save the partying for later? Some people have taken this with great stride...others have pushed ahead without making any changes at all, but for the time being it appears to be the trend. But how do you do that without hurting the feelings of those who don’t get to witness the actual magic moments?
Holly has the clearest answer with it all “just depends on the type of event you are having.” To her, most people appeared to respond positively without hearing anything harsh from her clients. There are some extenuating circumstances here that most weddings in normal times couldn’t deal with, so people should hopefully be more understanding. Stephanie says the key words to remember in only inviting someone to a reception are, “Celebrating the marriage of…” so they feel more included in the celebration of love rather than feeling like the wedding itself was the only thing to be there for.
As the pandemic continues for the foreseeable future, we hope you have learned a tip or two in how to handle inviting your loved ones to your upcoming wedding. Whether you are getting married on Zoom or holding off for greener pastures, our only wish is that you are doing it safely and sanely in this wild world! If you have to postpone, do it! If you are all vaccinated and ready to get hitched, do it in a small intimate ceremony and plan for a party down the road. If anything has become apparent, it’s that the norms of weddings are facing changes in these crazy times.
Be sure to check back in for our future recaps of podcasts episodes. We have a whole backlog ready for you. If you really loved reading about it, we bet you would sure love to listen to it as well! So give it a shot here! As always, stay safe and stay health!